natesmountain (natesmountain) wrote,

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Searching for zen

It's my ex-sister-in-law's birthday today. She is a South African. She hated me for a long time, I think because as a teenager I identified her anorexia when no one else was prepared to confront her, and she eventually gave up speaking to most of my family for various reasons. I hope she has a good day nonetheless. I think she is in Darwin.

I have had a hair cut and made some decisions. Will be more organised. Will take my job by the throat and wrestle it into submission, mainly by being more of a totally-prepared-freak kind of teacher. If I can manage that with Mission Day coming up in three weeks. Will throw out more stuff in the house. Will cook more Asian veges for the children to eat. We're starting with Shanghai cabbage tonight... Will be calm and co-operative with my friends and more cool to those with whom I am not friendly. Might stop writing. Wasting my time and getting nowhere fast. Will be tidier. Will try to be ready for each new day. Will not complain, it doesn't do anyone any good. Will waste no energy resenting others. Will strive to find the best in other people. Would maybe even be a Quaker if we had any here - maybe just need more reflective time with God.

*shrug* let's see how all that works out, huh? I'll revisit it all in a few weeks. See how I am getting on *snort* with myself.
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