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Well, it's been a busy time. I have a lot of classes to teach, of course, and we had the school inspectors not that long ago. That was pretty stressful for the school. I have been working really hard on good lessons at the moment. We studied the journey of Chris in The Pursuit of Happyness last week, that was inspiring. And my Year 13s have had their taste of the martyrdom of Oscar Romero, that is also a moving stage of their term's work. I feel closer to Oscar every time I watch the movie. I have started reading more about him.
I have had a lot of lovely thoughts I would have liked to share here but really, haven't been able to settle down and do some typing here as there always seems to be so many, many other things that have to be done and I can't get any priorities sorted in my life, I just do the most desperately urgent things and fudge the rest for another day. So not a lot of sleep, rest or time to myself. And no writing, not even a glimmer. That is particularly depressing as if feels like my life is slipping away and I won't even get my second book done. What a loser. I can't stop working, we really need the money with one child at uni, one about to go to uni and one at private school. It's just a stage, I guess, but a frustrating one.

A friend of mine, an old friend from school and Red Cross days, passed away a week ago. We weren't close of late, but always had a great chat whenever I went back to Red Cross for something as she worked there as an instructor. Apparently she had breast cancer but something went wrong and she died suddenly in ICU. I went to the funeral last Thursday. I met other old buddies from our Disaster Relief days. those were days of incredible fun, physical challenges, first aid competitions, and a strong sense of relying on one another to get jobs done. We had the best Sunday mornings of anyone I knew back then!!
Thing is, this death, of Clare, hit me really hard. We were almost exactly the same age, she was just a month older. It felt different to when another school friend died in a ballooning accident in the summer. I hadn't been close to Bee since school. But Clare was a bit more like me. Had one son. Lived a good solid life. And it's over. I don't want my life to be over. I think that's the driving force behind my concern. I want to do so much but I can't fit in what I really want at the moment! Argh!
And her funeral was something else! My old friend JCjnr was the priest, and he had been told to leave God out of it. He explained he was a priest and needed to MENTION God. But the people who spoke, they were mostly speaking about themselves and their grief rather than Clare. Wendy said, if someone says 'we must catch up for a cup of coffee' then DO IT. She apparently didn't and now will always regret it. OMG! It wasn't what I'm used to. Catholics tend to focus on the celebration of one's life and the glory of a life to come... trust me, it all feels nicer on the day to do it that way!!!

So anyway, I'm still alive. I'm reading a lot of ordinary novels which is keeping me calm and patient. I have some amazing moments in my life. I have some humour. I have loving, busy, cool children.
Some days are too busy but *shrug* I should be grateful that I CAN be busy, I guess.

But I do want to write again. I suspect I have lost most of my confidence and may not be willing to take up the pen... but roll on the summer break at the end of November. Who knows where that might take me... I hadn't realised until I sat down here this afternoon (waiting for the washing machine to finish) how much I missed writing on LJ. Goodness me, I really feel quite moved to be expressing my thoughts aloud again. I don't tell anyone around here what's on my mind. I'm Harry Bosch and LJ is my psychiatrist visit.
I had a rave about the whole gay marriage issue last week after the NZ Bishops decided to remind us with a letter about how important it is that marriage is just for a man and a woman... if my friend Kim eventually posts my rave on his website, I may get a call from the Bish LOL! Or be out of a job! Then I will REALLY need to write for a living! heh. See, I said the Church needs to rethink marriage. It's maybe got to be less about having a good place to have sex and make babies and more about relationships... and one of my students, a quiet pudding of a girl who has never had an opinion on anything, stayed behind after class and had a MASSIVE rave at me the day before yesterday, because she has become a born again Christian and thinks that since I don't believe in Adam and Eve as real people, I can't be a Christian and shouldn't be teaching the class. OMG!! She finally tried to hit me with the biggest insult she could, by suggesting I might actually be Jewish *snort* as if that could hurt me. I remained calm and pleasant. She then raved at my co-teacher the next day about how we 'worship Mary'. I wonder which evangelical fundamentalist extremist has been getting inside her poorly educated little head. Watch this space...

So now I shall hang out the washing. It's a fine afternoon but the winter sun is heading for the distant hills already. Good to see you all again xxx

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
margaret_r
Sep. 1st, 2012 07:50 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, it's very sad to lose one of your contemporaries. It does seem rather strange to have a priest officiate at a funeral but insist that the religious aspect be left out!

We had the Church issue a similar letter regarding gay marriage over here, it was probably exactly the same wording! Good Catholics were also told to stress their opposition in the online survey put up by the Government to gauge public opinion on the matter. I hope you don’t get any negative results from your own opinion;)

I hope you can make more time for yourself somewhere along the way between work and family too. I think it’s important to try and do that, otherwise you sort of lose your own identity.
natesmountain
Sep. 1st, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC)
-I hope you can make more time for yourself somewhere along the way between work and family too. I think it’s important to try and do that, otherwise you sort of lose your own identity.
Yeah, thank you so much, you are so right. I'll start tomorrow (it's Fathers' Day today!). And the Annual Vinnies Mass for school...

hope things are going well over the ditch there.
moth2fic
Sep. 2nd, 2012 01:42 pm (UTC)
Good to know what you've been up to even though a lot of it has been stressful! So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Sorry, too, on a different level, that you haven't had time to write - hope that changes soon!

The RC Church in Scotland has been trying to persuade the Scottish Parliament that gay marriage is not a good idea. Even the usually tolerant CoE has been declaiming about the subject in England. They also seem to think that in some way their religious marriages will be affected and of course the government has no intention and no ability to affect anything other than civil marriages. I wrote to my MP to support his stance - that civil marriage should be available to all. I hope your bishop doesn't express anger at your position!! And that you and your colleagues manage to survive the 'attack' by your deluded(?) pupil! *g*
natesmountain
Sep. 6th, 2012 11:40 am (UTC)
Heh, the deluded pupil.. today we handed out some sheets that showed six or seven different major world religions and their opinions on various issues like evil, suffering, peace, God... and she sat there mumbling that 'they're all wrong'!! We are choosing to ignore her!
moth2fic
Sep. 6th, 2012 12:45 pm (UTC)
Hee! That's the trouble with some of the fundamentalist sects (within all religions) - they are so much about absolutes and can't agree to disagree about anything or accept that other people have different beliefs. Then, when they manage to 'brainwash' kids like that they have the makings of bigots, and even terrorists of various kinds. Maybe she'll realise - I hope so! Meanwhile, ignoring her is probably your best option *g*

Totally off-topic, I got some excellent advice about my publishing/tax problem from a total stranger who had read my Wordpress blog. Other writers can be so kind and so generous with their time.
microjotz
Sep. 3rd, 2012 08:34 am (UTC)
Sorry about the loss of your friend.
Time to oneself is always short while there are children still at home. Things really change when there are no hungry ones to cook for and clean up after and drive about at all hours !

Thankyou for your birthday message in Facebook.
natesmountain
Sep. 6th, 2012 11:38 am (UTC)
I hope you had a good birthday xx
greenpizzazz6
Sep. 16th, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
Not finishing your second book would not make you a loser! You already finished one, plus did countless other things in the meantime. Look at your secret group of girls that I bet is changing lives!

I was just thinking today how much I missed lj and writing. It can just be so hard to even put together a coherent thought at the end of the day!

Love.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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