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My Father Today

My Father Today is a poem by Sam Hunt, a Kiwi poet

My father died one year ago today. I didn't think I minded too much until I dug out mellyj's link to the Hallmark card site (thanks, Mel, for teaching me about that one). I found a beautiful card to send to my mother. But it made me feel awfully sad. It's been a hard year in some ways but I have plenty of blessings so I must focus on those.

Loss is a difficult thing to put into words, it's more heart, memories, experiences, and all that happened between you.

I still miss my father. He was a brilliant man. He died too soon and way too rapidly. I still have that vision of the ICU and all those machines, so many machines for one body, bleeping and dripping and flashing and that awful knowledge that it's over.

I think it's cathartic to have Finn's birthday party today. New life.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
dani257
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. I hope you can enjoy Finn's party.
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:39 pm (UTC)
Hey, thanks!
-I hope you can enjoy Finn's party.
I'll be fine, it's a whole year ago, after all, and I think I got saddest doing the card. Damn Hallmark!!
ringbark
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:54 pm (UTC)
My dad died over four years ago. I don't think a day goes by when I don't reflect on something he said or did. Not always out loud. Most of it's good.
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
- I don't think a day goes by when I don't reflect on something he said or did.
That's amazing, and really special.

It's kind of scary to see the impact parents have on children, huh, now that we're parents
ringbark
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:01 pm (UTC)
That's right. But it's not the big things, it's the little things. As I put the washing on the line, I remember the washing line we assembled when I was at primary school. When we have garlic, I remember a couple of garlic stories. And today I listened to a short piece of music that made me tingle (too long to explain the reasons) - and that's just a part of today.
vivh
Nov. 2nd, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC)
The sadness does fade in time, I can sing the song we sang at Dad's funeral without my eyes brimming with tears by now! But the memories, experiences and love do not die, we always carry those we love in our hearts, no matter what separates us, distance, time or even death... You and your family are in my prayers tonight.

I hope Finn has a great party...Wish him happy birthday from this side of the world!!!
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
I think my mother is suffering more than any of us children would be today. I shall have to call her later.

- the song we sang at Dad's funeral without my eyes brimming with tears
I felt like that for years and years after my friend's mother died. 'I am the Bread of Life' can still get my eyes prickling!

Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts. And I sure will wish Finn a happy birthday party from your side of the world!! I've been out, bought all the food and gifts and prizes. Now I am poor, the house is still messy, the cake is not made but I feel okay. I have three and a half hours to do it all... but first I shall have a coffee!
vivh
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:29 pm (UTC)
I hope you manage to get everything done, here are some flowers to make your room look nice!! Oh and enjoy the coffee.
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:44 pm (UTC)
Oooh, thank you. I have the photo of your other icon up there on my mantelpiece! It's so striking!

And the coffee was great. Now I have to WORK!!!
vivh
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
Have fun!!!
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:48 pm (UTC)
Fun!!! I had the dining room table covered with card making stuff and now I have to clear it all.. and OMG I just realised I still haven't posted your card. Oh Viv I am hopeless! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. Sorry.
vivh
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:53 pm (UTC)
and OMG I just realised I still haven't posted your card.

Never mind, it will just give me something to look forward to.... And a mystery... when will it come? *g*
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:56 pm (UTC)
-And a mystery... when will it come? *g*
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

*blush*
greenpizzazz6
Nov. 2nd, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)
I've never lost anyone really close to me, so I'm not too sure what to say. I'm guessing words don't make too much a difference though.
I'm so sorry though.
natesmountain
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:07 pm (UTC)
Nice icon!

-so I'm not too sure what to say
You don't need to say anything really, when people are remembering. Just listening is enough, and you do plenty of that with me!! Thanks heaps, Cari.

-I've never lost anyone really close to me
I recall a friend of my boyfriend saying that once, and I was amazed, because even at your age I had lost quite a few people close to me. I was only just branching out into the secular world after college, and I figured at the time that Catholics must die more often LOL! But now I realise he was just lucky. As are you. Which is cool.
(Deleted comment)
natesmountain
Nov. 4th, 2006 02:37 am (UTC)
Thank you, Elly-welly *hugs you back*

And thanks for Finn too.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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