natesmountain (natesmountain) wrote,

Farewell, Rex.

Our dear parishioner died this evening. He was a man dedicated to our parish, a hard worker who did good deeds and raised fine children. He died at about seven p.m. My friend was driving past and saw me at the church and sent me a text. It all happened fast in the end. He only really found out about the cancer at our Bazaar so it's not long ago. But at least the family had a time to say goodbye. He has six children and nineteen grandchildren, all of them gathered round him today. They kept the children out of school for the day. But it all makes me wish I could've said goodbye to my own father, instead of just standing there staring at his body sustained by endless machines, pumps, tubes, respirator and all. It was awful really, and I guess those images will always haunt me a little.

*shrug* oh well. Steve's father died in his sleep, days before we were due to celebrate his 60th birthday, so that was a lot worse really. Seeing him 'asleep' like that, in bed, it was eerie. Christy was born a few days later.

I was helping Asher with his assignment on Nicaragua, Bangladesh and East Timor (it's a Caritas thing) and it's interesting reading about how the Catholic Church has stymied some types of progess and welfare in a country like Nicaragua, how lack of birth control has contributed to a lot of the misery. I do feel embarrassed about a lot of the Church's past horrors, and some present ones too. It is by no means all right and in some situations, the Church's behaviour (and behaviour of individuals representing the Church) has been nothing short of frighteningly and horrifyingly intolerable, and it still is, but then, just about every power-weildng service or party or group can show you their skeletons. I just think the Catholics have more than their fair share!!! Too many men and too much power in their hands, if you ask me. In their efforts to create some sort of God-fearing people, they lost the plot completely and abused their power far too many times.
And the birth control issue, well, I don't have anything against birth control, I think it's probably a very good idea for anyone who needs it, but I do have issues with abortion, and that probably started when I was a teenager, and we were brainwashed by the nuns and visiting horrific slide shows of aborted foetuses, things our parents would never have seen. So brainwashed I might have been, but I can't quite feel tolerant of abortion. A beating heart is a beating heart, which means it is alive, and even if it should take forty weeks to make that person, it's still a person when born at thirty-seven or thirty-eight weeks, like all my children, and it's still a person when born at thirty-four weeks, like my friend's daughter, Rebecca, and it's still a person at twenty-six weeks like little Anna who just died a fortnight ago after three months in a neonatal ward. Her funeral filled a church. So I feel that it's still a person at any stage that that tiny heart is beating, that brain is growing, that personality is developing, I don't quite see how you can deny that. Or is it that it's okay to kill a person, if they haven't made their mark on the world yet? Is that the logic behind the condoning of abortions? Or is it that 'free choice' thing, women have free choice to kill babies and dammit, no man will get in our way? I don't even get that. And whoa, before you get on your high horse (oh, hang on, those people are gone now, huh!), I know men can be bastards, and maybe condoning the 'morning after pill' for rape and forced sex is a fine thing, a necessary thing before that life even gets off the ground. No woman deserves to be forcibly infiltrated and abused by a man, or be held hostage by a man's power and sexuality. And hey, I'd never be judgemental of someone who had to or chose to have an abortion, that is their choice. I just can't say how I'd feel about it, inside my own head... And I'm not taking a stand. I am just saying. There is a lot of death around me, and there will be a funeral to attend, and I think I just might like to celebrate life.
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