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Farewell, Rex.

Our dear parishioner died this evening. He was a man dedicated to our parish, a hard worker who did good deeds and raised fine children. He died at about seven p.m. My friend was driving past and saw me at the church and sent me a text. It all happened fast in the end. He only really found out about the cancer at our Bazaar so it's not long ago. But at least the family had a time to say goodbye. He has six children and nineteen grandchildren, all of them gathered round him today. They kept the children out of school for the day. But it all makes me wish I could've said goodbye to my own father, instead of just standing there staring at his body sustained by endless machines, pumps, tubes, respirator and all. It was awful really, and I guess those images will always haunt me a little.

*shrug* oh well. Steve's father died in his sleep, days before we were due to celebrate his 60th birthday, so that was a lot worse really. Seeing him 'asleep' like that, in bed, it was eerie. Christy was born a few days later.

I was helping Asher with his assignment on Nicaragua, Bangladesh and East Timor (it's a Caritas thing) and it's interesting reading about how the Catholic Church has stymied some types of progess and welfare in a country like Nicaragua, how lack of birth control has contributed to a lot of the misery. I do feel embarrassed about a lot of the Church's past horrors, and some present ones too. It is by no means all right and in some situations, the Church's behaviour (and behaviour of individuals representing the Church) has been nothing short of frighteningly and horrifyingly intolerable, and it still is, but then, just about every power-weildng service or party or group can show you their skeletons. I just think the Catholics have more than their fair share!!! Too many men and too much power in their hands, if you ask me. In their efforts to create some sort of God-fearing people, they lost the plot completely and abused their power far too many times.
And the birth control issue, well, I don't have anything against birth control, I think it's probably a very good idea for anyone who needs it, but I do have issues with abortion, and that probably started when I was a teenager, and we were brainwashed by the nuns and visiting horrific slide shows of aborted foetuses, things our parents would never have seen. So brainwashed I might have been, but I can't quite feel tolerant of abortion. A beating heart is a beating heart, which means it is alive, and even if it should take forty weeks to make that person, it's still a person when born at thirty-seven or thirty-eight weeks, like all my children, and it's still a person when born at thirty-four weeks, like my friend's daughter, Rebecca, and it's still a person at twenty-six weeks like little Anna who just died a fortnight ago after three months in a neonatal ward. Her funeral filled a church. So I feel that it's still a person at any stage that that tiny heart is beating, that brain is growing, that personality is developing, I don't quite see how you can deny that. Or is it that it's okay to kill a person, if they haven't made their mark on the world yet? Is that the logic behind the condoning of abortions? Or is it that 'free choice' thing, women have free choice to kill babies and dammit, no man will get in our way? I don't even get that. And whoa, before you get on your high horse (oh, hang on, those people are gone now, huh!), I know men can be bastards, and maybe condoning the 'morning after pill' for rape and forced sex is a fine thing, a necessary thing before that life even gets off the ground. No woman deserves to be forcibly infiltrated and abused by a man, or be held hostage by a man's power and sexuality. And hey, I'd never be judgemental of someone who had to or chose to have an abortion, that is their choice. I just can't say how I'd feel about it, inside my own head... And I'm not taking a stand. I am just saying. There is a lot of death around me, and there will be a funeral to attend, and I think I just might like to celebrate life.

Comments

greenpizzazz6
Mar. 14th, 2007 01:35 pm (UTC)
That's awful to hear about your parishoner. He sounds like he was a great man. But, yes, at least the family had time to say good-bye.

I definitely support birth control. I've seen a lot of the people that come in to get it, and they definitely need it! I ideally, people would just keep their legs closed until they're ready to have kids, but I don't think that's realistic. I think that especially when it's young people having sex, it's better that they prevent the pregnancy than end up with an unwanted one.

Which brings us to abortion. A tough topic for me. I suppose I'm against it. It's still tough for me though. I do have a friend who had an abortion. I know that she would never have been able to raise a child, and she never would have been able to give it up for adoption. So, I don't know, maybe she did make the right choice. It still seems wrong to me though. It is ending a life.

I know people who have had children young, as young as 15. The kids have rough lives. They don't have much chance of getting anywhere in life. Hopefully they'll pull themselves out of it, but the odds are strongly against them. Still though, I don't know that abortion would have been an option.

So, I suppose I'm against it, but like you said, I wouldn't ever judge someone who had an abortion. It's a very personal issue. My friend never actually even told us, but a couple of us just know. But it's better that way, people shouldn't have to know. It's a woman's business.
natesmountain
Mar. 14th, 2007 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Cari.

-I definitely support birth control.
That's good. I really don't see what the problem is with the church and birth control. More like man control, if you ask me ;)
-I think that especially when it's young people having sex, it's better that they prevent the pregnancy than end up with an unwanted one.
Absolutely.
-abortion. A tough topic for me. I suppose I'm against it. It's still tough for me though. I do have a friend who had an abortion
It is a tough subject, for sure, and moreso for younger people like you, because it's so - well, there. And yeah, you look at someone like your friend and think, whoa, they would have been bad with a baby, and at the same time, you look at the ending of a life and think, hmmm, did it have to happen that way. It's really tough. And the more advanced our technology gets with IVF and things, the more difficult choices will have to be made.
And sure, there are some lives that perhaps would have been better off not living, but we can only hope that somehow they touched someone for some good. I guess I'd be in favour of much better adoption strategies.
-I wouldn't ever judge someone who had an abortion. It's a very personal issue
Yeah, we have to remember that. I could never do something like protest outside an abortion clinic like some of the fanatics do, because imagine the hell that some people have been through long before they ever got the courage to walk through that door.

-people shouldn't have to know. It's a woman's business.
Wonderful point *g* Us women deserve to have our business!
greenpizzazz6
Mar. 15th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
That's good. I really don't see what the problem is with the church and birth control. More like man control, if you ask me
lol...how true!

the more difficult choices will have to be made.
That's completely right. Each advance brings more changes, more difficult choices, more variety, but more difficulty.

I guess I'd be in favour of much better adoption strategies.
I think I would too. I mean, everyone's life has some sort of purpose, some sort of meaning.

I could never do something like protest outside an abortion clinic like some of the fanatics do, because imagine the hell that some people have been through long before they ever got the courage to walk through that door.
Yeah, I can't imagine ever doing that to a person. When I see protests like that, I feel sick to my stomach.

Us women deserve to have our business!
Exactly!
natesmountain
Mar. 15th, 2007 03:13 am (UTC)
-That's completely right. Each advance brings more changes, more difficult choices, more variety, but more difficulty
Yeah, there will be more and more choices to be made about babies, planning of babies, with options to 'shop for the best baby' IVF wise, all that genetic tweaking. The possibilities are scary without the right legislation in place to protect human rights and the dignity of the human being.

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